When Boredom Strikes

Tags

blogger, fun, Game, random, thoughts

I came to school early and now I have 20 minutes before class starts so I’m gonna play a game of: Things I Wonder…

I’m a great gamer maker-upper so this will be tons of fun, and when I’m done y’all can get in on the fun too! Leave a comment with things you wonder.

It goes like this: Things you wonder, just a statement. No explanation no back story just things you wonder… Lol then we can see how random, freaky, or curious we all are

Here I go. Things I Wonder:

-I wonder how many couples break up during football/basketball season

-I wonder, when I’m at a restaurant, how many couples are actually cheating on their significant others with each other

-I wonder why I never see dogs/cats/birds/basic animals doing it but they always seem to have offspring

-I wonder what men think when they put on clothes in the morning

-I wonder how many guys look back at my butt when I pass them in the halls

-I wonder why professors are so comfortable in front of a class but are nerdy/geeks in real life

-I wonder if sometimes when I’m on my laptop if someone is looking at me through my webcam without my knowledge

-I wonder how many actors from action movies try those stunts in real life

-I wonder how many pictures I’m in on Facebook but like in the background and I’m not tagged cause we don’t know each other

-I wonder at what age do you no longer become sexually aroused

-I wonder how many times I’m thought of by other people during the day

-I wonder how many people actually sat through and read all this foolishness!

lmao so that’s it. I think that’s a decent amount of I wonder’s and y’all go the gest of what is expected of yourself so go ahead:

What do you wonder?!

Guess What?!?!?!?

Tags

dating, Funny, hump day, new crush, Relationships, thoughts

Lol y’all are welcome for that! But that’s not what i wanted to tell y’all. I have a CRUSH!

I know y’all are extra excited!

But before i get into my crush, I’m gonna give y’all a little backstory! Now who’s really excited for this part?!

I know you all are!!!!!!!

Okay my backstory, When it comes to crushes I can be a little crazy…. And i know what you’re thinking, “Crazy how Kara?”

Crazy

Lmao okay that’s enough! Crazy like… When i see a guy i think is attractive in the hallway or at the grocery store or something i’ll start planning our relationship together… Lol and don’t let me see you more than once I’ll be like, “Yep *nodds*…. God definitely wants us to be together” Lmao when i say it out loud it sounds crazier than it actually is. But okay that’s not the point.

Whenever i see a guy i want do this whole obsess over him without even knowing his name thing and it actually works in my getting the guy, again I get the guy without saying ANYTHING to him… I’m shy. Lol. But somehow just the power of desire gets the guy, or maybe if you stare at the long enough somehow they’ll feel a sense intrigue rather than fear and than approach me but in any case i get them! But after all that, the guy NEVER turns out to be who i thought

In one particular instance I fell in absolute love with this one young man that i knew was a deep philosophical thinker. And the way he walked I can’t explain it well enough to give it justice but he was just so cool to me! He wore his sunglasses inside and he always rolled his pants legs up like highwaters (I think that’s what they’re called) Anyways i thought he was the coolest thing since sliced ham, the bee’s knee’s!

Mr.

I just wanted to know him, but of course i was too shy to just walk up and introduce myself! My roommate at the time was like “he’s the lamest kid i have ever seen, he looks like Urkel in the middle of a transformation to Stephon behind the scenes”. But i didn’t see it! I saw Stephon all day, like without talking to him i just knew in my heart he was different! So somehow or another we started sharing eye contact, causally waving hello, and saying hi when we would pass each other in the hallway. After months of that there was still no real conversation, until one day I was sitting down with my friends and he came and sat a paper machete chihuahua/donkey looking thing on my table, looking at it now it’s not that cute but at the time i was so excited! He didn’t even say anything when he sat it down he just looked me in my eyes handed it to me and walked off! Like it was just so…. AMAZING, SO COOL SO much like… Idk! I was just so astonished that one person could contain so much swag!

lmao. A few days after that we exchanged numbers, talked and i realized he wasn’t cool at all. He was cocky, always high, and not at all what i wanted. Long story short i moved on!

So i see a guy, i fantasize about the guy until i get him, i plan our futures together, me and the man i never met or talked to. My friends threaten to have me committed, and then if i do get the guy i play super hard to get! that’s my little routine.

Well there was the backstory so now to my main point!

I HAVE A CRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I first spotted my future husband, but we’ll just call him my new boo for short lol in my class. He came in sat behind me and when i saw his dreads I instantly started picking out bridesmaids dresses and colors in my head. He didn’t say anything to me but i did ask him for the time because my phone died, and that is a HUGE step for me! *Pats myself on the back*. After class was over i was a little disappointed but i thought “Hey i have the whole semester”. Wednesday I realized we didn’t have just ONE class together but we had two! What are the odds? It was basically God saying “Yes Kara I made this one just for you… Enjoy.” But of course we still haven’t talked right? In the second class together we were paired in a group, and that was God saying “Check him out, How’d I do?” and of course i responded “God you outdid yourself this time!” Me and my new boo spoke a little bit but nothing major but the real climax of this story happened today! I sent a mass email to everyone in one of my classes because there is assignment due and i don’t have the book. Out of all 40 people, ONLY HIM REPLIED! I know right?!?! He must want me too?! He offered to let me use his book. After class he chased me down and

GAVE ME HIS NUMBER

so we can meet so i can get the book from him.

Of course he could be gay, or have a chick, or have a fake leg, or maybe not at all interested in me and he’s just trying to be helpful. But maybe he looks at me and is like “Yeah… I want that one!”

In any case I told myself i was going to bust out of my shell this year and do what i want, get what i want, and live my life the way i want. So i gotta stop being passive with men and take charge, if he says no I’m sure I’ll start obsessing about the guy coming around the corner!

So….Aren’t y’all excited for me?!?!?!

This is my excited face btw!

First day of class!

Tags

college, first day of school, high gpa, professional student

Because I’m a professional college student today is my 5th first day of college…

Lol i hate to be one of those old bitter people, but it really is cute to see those Lil fishy’s in their Sundays best really trying to impress their fellow students. Little do they know they needa be worried about impressing their professors cause them short skirts and sagging jeans won’t get them anything but a bad reputation and academic probation.

I feel like I’ve done and seen most of the things done at school, i could probably write a book, but none of that is important now. Number one priority from this point on is to achieve the 4.0 gpa i should’ve gotten years ago, but instead i just HAD to attend every party that was thrown, every decorating for the party party, every let’s have a party to plan what kinda party we gonna throw party…. LOL surprisingly no one threw a study party! But not this year no more partying for me…. Well no partying sunday-wednesday…. Can’t cut it all out, don’t wanna go too crazy.

So of course in effort to be on team #4.0gpa i woke up 2 hours before class, i put my books and clothes out last night and i was ready! —–>fast forward to getting to campus 5 minutes before class because of the rain, waiting for forever for the bus, going to the wrong building, and completely missing my 10 o’clock class….

Lol but that’s okay, i may have started off rocky but i will graduate in December… Or maybe May…. Lmao but that’s not important, as long as it happens before 2015!

A Boyfriend, Sugar Daddy, Secret Lover, or Something in between….

Tags

boyfriend, dating, online dating, prince charming, prowling, sugar daddy

I got asked the other day by this guy “You’re so cute, why are you single?” Like being attractive automatically guarantees you not only a man but a relationship until you become ugly. Normally my response would be “The last guy i was dealing with passed away and I’m just not ready to get back out there”. I just don’t know if that’s really true now. A month or two ago yes… But now, I’m ready to feel what i felt with Matt again with someone else.

So now of course I’m going to analyze why i haven’t. Starting from the very beginning. Ever since I was little I’ve been look for Prince Charming every where i went. In the sandbox which let me tell you although in theory seems like a place where romance blooms I’m here to set the record straight that that is not the case. As I got older I thought i might be open to settling for Prince Charming’s younger slightly not as cute little brother because I couldn’t find my dream guy at Church, or in the cafeteria, or at any of the Sock Hops, and school dances. The years keep going by and i started to think Hey, at this point in time maybe I’d be interested in Prince Charming’s special needs cousin, because I seemed to be meeting a lot of mentally challenged boys in the dorm hallways, the clubs, and surprisingly in my college courses, what confused me the most is i thought you had to meet some type of standard to be accepted into college, but clearly there is a way to wiggle yourself through any standardized tests. And for a little while I thought screw Prince Charming, what’s his daddy King Charming up to these days? Cause money was kinda tight around my parts, rent was due… “Mama needs a house, baby needs some shoes, Times is getting hard. guess what I’m gon’ do? Hustle…” My way to a rich man (preferably white if he was trying to scratch black girl off his bucket list… Just being honest) And now…. I’m just kinda over the search.

Lol, don’t y’all just love my metaphors? I hope so I put a ton of thought into them. But back to importance. Like I was saying, I don’t want it to seem like I’m a lioness on the prowl ready to pounce on any man that bats his eyelashes at me because that really isn’t the case. I also don’t want it to seem like I’ve completely lowered my standards to “the man just needs a pulse” because that’s not the case either. I am approached by men, but I don’t really take any of them serious if they don’t have the attributes that I desire in a man. Here comes another metaphor. Let’s say you lived your entire life only eating Long John Silver’s seafood. *I’m a little hungry, lol but bear with me* So that’s the only seafood you know! The only seafood you’ve ever tasted, and because that is the case, you love seafood and you think that it can’t get better than LJS, until one day you mess around and get your hands on some Red Lobster. *In this metaphor Red Lobster is a upgrade to Long John Silvers in case some of you got confused* So now, you get to eat this seafood that is largely better then LJS. You’ll never wanna go back to LJS if you know that RL now exist right?

That’s where i’m at when it comes to men. Matt was the silverish gold standard of a man, and he came at a time when I didn’t really know that men like that existed. I say silverish gold because he wasn’t perfect and I’m not gonna idolize him because he’s know longer here because I’m just not like that. But he really was great. He really treated me as well as he knew how, and we had a better relationship than I think I have ever had. So, when i started contemplating going back with my ex, it wasn’t until after we hung out that i realized i would be doing myself a dishonor to go back to Long John Silver when I had a taste for Red Lobster. And fancy my surprise when i found out that there was better seafood out there than Red Lobster! So there it is. I got a taste for something good, and I’m bougies now.

In my “attempt” to attain this golden man i desire my friends told me about a few online dating sites I should give a look at. And i did, I tried “Skout” which is a bunch of unemployed, short, thug types, with a obsession of taking pictures of their money, smoke coming out of their mouths, and their golden grills. And they use pic up lines “Like d*** baby girl all them curves i know you got a man”

I tried okcupid, which i really thought had good potential until i started to skype this young man who lived in Kenya, Africa but told me initially it was because he was in the military. I went along with it because it seemed plausible. It wasn’t until he told me he had never been in the states, he had no friends in Kenya, and if he knew we hadn’t been talking for that many days but he was looking at airline tickets and he could be at my front doorstep that weekend… I never replied after that but he kept sending creepy messages like. “I just know we will be the best of friends” “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms” “I told my mom about you.” That was the first time i ever blocked someone.

I moved on to Tinder, which i thought really supported me as a woman openly deciding on how I choose to speak to rather than setting me on a stick like a piece of meat and letting the gates open to the hungry bears. *Not my best analogy i know…* But anyways, you get to check out these guys pages, and if you like them you click yes. If they like you they click yes. And then either one of you has the opportunity to talk to each other. So far the only problem i have had was the guy out of town that was in town for the weekend and wanted me to meet him at his hotel his words exactly “we don’t have to go to my room if that’s your concern, whenever i walk into the lobby i see plenty of women sitting around talking to men at the bar” ….And because you want me to be a common street hooker looking for her next paycheck i will decline your invitation.

Needless to say the task of acquiring Prince Charming has been long, and strenuous which leads me to believe it is not a path i want to continue on. But *insert shameless self advertising* If you or a friend are/is a tall dark and handsome man with a job, a place to lay your head, and has 85% of your teeth don’t hesitate to say “What’s good?”! Also if you or a friend, is a short older rich white man that is looking for a black girl that can keep a secret, don’t hesitate to say “Hello”.

I believe i touched all my bases there… LOL hope you enjoyed the post, I surely enjoyed writing it!

Screw Being Sad

Tags

Content, Single

I’m over this whole “morning a lost, and always being sad”. It’s been over two months which isn’t a long time but I’m ready to be okay. I’m ready to be as happy as I was before but it seems that even when I think I’m back to the old me I still end up thinking about Matt. And the Lost of him and the fact that we’ll never be us again, and that his parents will never see him graduate, and he’ll never drink with his cousin or friends again. And when i’m doing thinking of all the things that will never and can never happen again. I start to think that in my current situation am I doomed to be a “never again kinda girl”?

It sounds crazy or it doesn’t make sense but I want to be in love. I want to feel those butterflies. I want to bask in the happiness that a man gives. I want to feel all that I felt with Matt, but even more… So i’m open to it, I think I’m ready for it? Why hasn’t God blessed me with it, is kinda my question right now.

I wish someone would right a book for what to do when your ready for a new man, but God doesn’t present one too you. What’s crazy is that I’ve met guys, I’ve talked to guys, I ignore guys, I don’t want to be bothered with guys. I’m not comparing them to Matt though… No one will be him or replace him in my heart but if Matt isn’t around anymore that has to mean God has something different planned for my life…

I’ve just never been really good at waiting.

But maybe that’s the difference in being sad, being lonely, and just being in limbo… Just a time where nothing good is happening, but nothing bad is happening, so my feeling is indifferent. I’ve never been that before. I’m always one extreme or the other “All smiles” or “All frowns” lol

Well no point in stale facing (-_-) it until i meet the one I’ll fake it till i make.

All Smiles!

Quick Rant about Dating

Tags

dating-is-hard, moving on, single life

I hate boys.

Quite the opening statement huh? Truth is i don’t really hate boys…. I just severely dislike the ones that i seem to be encountering. I think what I’m the most upset about is that I NEVER planned to still be on the dating market at this point in my life… Even though I’m only 22 I planned to be tied down by now, have graduated, hopefully starting a new job and in about 6 years be engaged and in 9 years have a child.

But none of that is reality and it’s all HIS fault! Oh “him” the infamous “He who shall remain nameless” Most of the time the “he” who we women speak of doesn’t even really exist or at least he doesn’t know how important he has become to us. But in this case “He” is real, “He” does exist, or at least he did. He is, or was Matthew. And HE passed away in a car accident on June 2, 2013. He was mine, and I was his, and we belonged to each other and I knew that WE would be. And now this is starting to sound more poetic than intended but when Matt, when He, passed away in a car accident on a Sunday night, I was mad at HIM, we hadn’t spoken in about two weeks, but it wasn’t that big of a deal because WE had gone longer without talking… Some way WE always made up… lol if you know what i mean. When I got the call, that HE, that Matt was in a car accident i assumed that HE was fine, and would be fine, and WE would be fine, even though at the time WE weren’t fine, regardless WE would be…. But HE wasn’t. Matt wasn’t fine, and I wasn’t fine, and I wouldn’t be fine for a very long time.

To say that “you never know what you have until it’s gone” is a understatement that took on a whole new meaning at 11:06 pm on Sunday June 2, 2013 because in the four years that I knew Him, that i yearned for him, that i was so attracted to him. I never wanted Matt more than at the moment that i knew I could never have HIM again.

But this isn’t a sad post so I’ll move on. It’s been a little over two months since i lost HIM. No other man will ever be able to posses the title of “HIM” like “HE” did. But I’m still out there, trying to date, trying to make the dream come true. I still can be married in six years. I can still have the kid in 9 years. But for real, who knew the dating pool was so shallow?! (Lol Can i just point out that i am killing the metaphors today?!)

It’s almost another tragedy in itself. “You lose the one man you never got to tell you loved only to never love again” Lol It’s like some cheesy romance novel with the long haired men on the front! I want to date again! I’m almost certain I’m ready to get out there but…These guys are making me wanna walk back inside and lock all the doors.

I know i can’t spend the rest of my life looking at Matt’s picture. But on the other side of the coin I can’t see myself standing next to another man in a picture.