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I got asked the other day by this guy “You’re so cute, why are you single?” Like being attractive automatically guarantees you not only a man but a relationship until you become ugly. Normally my response would be “The last guy i was dealing with passed away and I’m just not ready to get back out there”. I just don’t know if that’s really true now. A month or two ago yes… But now, I’m ready to feel what i felt with Matt again with someone else.

So now of course I’m going to analyze why i haven’t. Starting from the very beginning. Ever since I was little I’ve been look for Prince Charming every where i went. In the sandbox which let me tell you although in theory seems like a place where romance blooms I’m here to set the record straight that that is not the case. As I got older I thought i might be open to settling for Prince Charming’s younger slightly not as cute little brother because I couldn’t find my dream guy at Church, or in the cafeteria, or at any of the Sock Hops, and school dances. The years keep going by and i started to think Hey, at this point in time maybe I’d be interested in Prince Charming’s special needs cousin, because I seemed to be meeting a lot of mentally challenged boys in the dorm hallways, the clubs, and surprisingly in my college courses, what confused me the most is i thought you had to meet some type of standard to be accepted into college, but clearly there is a way to wiggle yourself through any standardized tests. And for a little while I thought screw Prince Charming, what’s his daddy King Charming up to these days? Cause money was kinda tight around my parts, rent was due… “Mama needs a house, baby needs some shoes, Times is getting hard. guess what I’m gon’ do? Hustle…” My way to a rich man (preferably white if he was trying to scratch black girl off his bucket list… Just being honest) And now…. I’m just kinda over the search.

Lol, don’t y’all just love my metaphors? I hope so I put a ton of thought into them. But back to importance. Like I was saying, I don’t want it to seem like I’m a lioness on the prowl ready to pounce on any man that bats his eyelashes at me because that really isn’t the case. I also don’t want it to seem like I’ve completely lowered my standards to “the man just needs a pulse” because that’s not the case either. I am approached by men, but I don’t really take any of them serious if they don’t have the attributes that I desire in a man. Here comes another metaphor. Let’s say you lived your entire life only eating Long John Silver’s seafood. *I’m a little hungry, lol but bear with me* So that’s the only seafood you know! The only seafood you’ve ever tasted, and because that is the case, you love seafood and you think that it can’t get better than LJS, until one day you mess around and get your hands on some Red Lobster. *In this metaphor Red Lobster is a upgrade to Long John Silvers in case some of you got confused* So now, you get to eat this seafood that is largely better then LJS. You’ll never wanna go back to LJS if you know that RL now exist right?

That’s where i’m at when it comes to men. Matt was the silverish gold standard of a man, and he came at a time when I didn’t really know that men like that existed. I say silverish gold because he wasn’t perfect and I’m not gonna idolize him because he’s know longer here because I’m just not like that. But he really was great. He really treated me as well as he knew how, and we had a better relationship than I think I have ever had. So, when i started contemplating going back with my ex, it wasn’t until after we hung out that i realized i would be doing myself a dishonor to go back to Long John Silver when I had a taste for Red Lobster. And fancy my surprise when i found out that there was better seafood out there than Red Lobster! So there it is. I got a taste for something good, and I’m bougies now.

In my “attempt” to attain this golden man i desire my friends told me about a few online dating sites I should give a look at. And i did, I tried “Skout” which is a bunch of unemployed, short, thug types, with a obsession of taking pictures of their money, smoke coming out of their mouths, and their golden grills. And they use pic up lines “Like d*** baby girl all them curves i know you got a man”

I tried okcupid, which i really thought had good potential until i started to skype this young man who lived in Kenya, Africa but told me initially it was because he was in the military. I went along with it because it seemed plausible. It wasn’t until he told me he had never been in the states, he had no friends in Kenya, and if he knew we hadn’t been talking for that many days but he was looking at airline tickets and he could be at my front doorstep that weekend… I never replied after that but he kept sending creepy messages like. “I just know we will be the best of friends” “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms” “I told my mom about you.” That was the first time i ever blocked someone.

I moved on to Tinder, which i thought really supported me as a woman openly deciding on how I choose to speak to rather than setting me on a stick like a piece of meat and letting the gates open to the hungry bears. *Not my best analogy i know…* But anyways, you get to check out these guys pages, and if you like them you click yes. If they like you they click yes. And then either one of you has the opportunity to talk to each other. So far the only problem i have had was the guy out of town that was in town for the weekend and wanted me to meet him at his hotel his words exactly “we don’t have to go to my room if that’s your concern, whenever i walk into the lobby i see plenty of women sitting around talking to men at the bar” ….And because you want me to be a common street hooker looking for her next paycheck i will decline your invitation.

Needless to say the task of acquiring Prince Charming has been long, and strenuous which leads me to believe it is not a path i want to continue on. But *insert shameless self advertising* If you or a friend are/is a tall dark and handsome man with a job, a place to lay your head, and has 85% of your teeth don’t hesitate to say “What’s good?”! Also if you or a friend, is a short older rich white man that is looking for a black girl that can keep a secret, don’t hesitate to say “Hello”.

I believe i touched all my bases there… LOL hope you enjoyed the post, I surely enjoyed writing it!